To most people, losing control means going mad, going a little crazy. Literally ‘losing it’.
But there are times when letting go of control can be good for you.
This doesn’t mean that you should start throwing the odd temper tantrum and raging at people whenever you feel like it. This is losing self–control. Something you should never lose because it can cause extensive, permanent damage. The control I am referring to is on a smaller but much more important scale. I am referring to the ways that we try to control our lives and everything and everyone around us.
Most of us try to control people around us by telling them what to do, how they should behave, do things in a certain way, be there, do this or that. And when they don’t, we often feel uncomfortable, let-down or even angry.
Most of our daily lives revolve around control of some sort. Checking the time… do I need to leave yet… will I be ready in time. We are constantly being controlled – even a small beep or chirp can send most of us frantically rummaging through our bag or pockets for the phone. We make plans, set things in motion by talking to people, making appointments, agreeing on things and we are often disappointed when our plans don’t work out the way we expected them to.
But when we really think about it, things rarely ever turn out the way we originally wanted them to.
There is always an unexpected delay, a change, a new idea.
And when this happens we may literally lose control, have a breakdown, throw things around but why are we even surprised at all? All our lives we have been making changes, adapting, coping with the unexpected, so why should now be any different?
Clever people know that they cannot control everything. They understand that things will change, people will do things in a different way and things will happen that are quite unexpected. They expect the unexpected and are confident in the knowledge that they have coped with change before and will cope with it again. Some people even go as far as enjoying the challenge of making something happen even when new obstacles are being added every day.
They know that as long as a general direction and pressure for progress is maintained, they will not lose. They will often look for a way to use the new situation to their advantage.
Flexibility is vital to success and having the ability to adapt to unexpected changes ensures future success.
It is better to have a general direction rather than a rigidly fixed one. This allows you to let things come and go and gives you the flexibility to adapt to the changes that are sure to come. The need to control our lives, to have a future, to fit things into little boxes and to meet our ideas of what life should be, is a waste of useful energy and time.
Learn to be a little flexible and let some things go.
Practice accepting things as they are even if they are not perfect – concentrate on the 90% that is correct and not the 10% that is not.
Stop wasting energy fighting change, and start opening your mind to the new opportunities it may bring.
Work on reducing your need to control everything around you sit back a little, relax a little, and enjoy life and all it has to offer.