Life in your hands

6 steps to taking control of your life – and stop sabotaging your own happiness. 033

Your life Life is in your hands

It’s a terrible feeling to be out of control, to feel like you are being pushed and pulled in different directions at the same time. Not really feeling satisfied with the way your life is going but just continuing each day because you are told to, or feel it’s your duty or ‘your lot’ in life.

Most people spend their time following someone else or blaming someone else for not getting the most out of their own life. It is easy to blame your failings on others. It is easy to say that you are not lucky or you are not clever enough or was not in the ‘right place at the right time’. But these are all simple excuses that are easier to believe in than the simple truth – YOU are responsible for what happens in your life.

Here are 6 simple steps for you to start to take responsibility for your life and everything that happens in it…

1. Your life is your responsibility.

If you are not sure of this then go and look in the mirror and see who is controlling everything you do and think – It’s all there in front of you.

You may say that you have other responsibilities and other pressures making you do the things that you do but the world and everything in it, is constantly changing, developing and improving.

Are you?

2. Nothing lasts forever

If you are in a bad spot, don’t blame it on others as blame does not get you anywhere – start taking positive action on how to change things for the better. The smallest of changes can help start the ball rolling.

3. Where are you going?

When you are planning to do something you should have a goal in mind. You must know what you want and why you want it. You need to know how it will give you greater satisfaction, happiness, and feelings of success in your life but don,’t get too tied up in this.

There are many people who don’t know what they want in the future, they just know that they want to change what they have now. This is fine. This is actually a much more normal approach to improving yourself that the many hundreds of ‘Make your life better Coaches’ ever admit.

4. Keep your eyes wide open

Goals are good for giving you a direction but they can be restrictive. Being totally focussed on one target can mean that you are not looking out for the many other opportunities that may come up around you. Enjoy each step of the journey and look out for opportunities all along the way.

5. Listen to you

People have different goals and motivators and each of us has different things that brings happiness into our lives. You can listen to advice from people you trust but most importantly you need to listen to yourself – it’s YOUR life and it’s all about what YOU do with it!

It is you that will have to do the learning or make the effort and you must also take full responsibility for everything that you do (or don’t do) including all your successes and failures so you must look at what is important to you and not what you are told is (or should be) important.

  • They made me do it;
  • They told me to;
  • They left me with no choice;
  • I couldn’t help it;
  • It was a group of us, I just went along with the others;
  • They did it too.

These are all excuses made by people who do not take responsibility for their actions. If you hear yourself saying these things then stop using others as an excuse for your actions and life.

People who take responsibility for themselves say things such as:

  • I did not pass the exam because I did not do enough revision;
  • Yes! I did it!
  • I can do it;
  • I will get some additional help to make sure I am successful;
  • I don’t like this, I’m going to change it.

6. Stop blaming others

To be successful you simply need to understand that you parents, you friends, your noisy neighbour, your instructor are busy running their own lives and are not responsible for what you do and don’t do. YOU are.

Do it now.Do it now

  • Every morning, look in the mirror and tell the person you see what positive changes you are going to make to your life today – then DO IT.
  • Keep reminding yourself that you are responsible for YOUR life and stop blaming others.
  • Start using ‘I’ in conversations to associate yourself directly with your actions.
  • Ask for opinions to gain ideas only.
  • Remember that your feelings are much more important.

 

Author CW. Main image Pixabay: mysticartanddesign

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